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Using Love Languages to Spoil Your Spouse 

by | Jul 18, 2022 | Family

How’s your relationship with your significant other? Do you feel like you’ve fallen into a dating rut? Don’t worry. It’s normal for relationships to need a jumpstart from time to time, and we have some ideas to reignite your relationships. Meet the 5 Love Languages® … a system that can transform the routine into the remarkable. 

If you’ve never heard of love languages, it was pioneered by Dr. Gary Chapman as a way for couples to understand each other better. The idea is that each person has one or two ways they best receive love, and if you know your partner’s love language, you can show them love in those ways. 

The five love languages are: 

  • Physical touch 
  • Quality time 
  • Receiving gifts  
  • Acts of service 
  • Words of affirmation 

If you haven’t yet, take their quiz with your significant other and swap results to see where you’re similar and different. Then read on. Here are three traditional dates and ways to tailor them to your significant other’s needs.  

A close-up of a popcorn machine with someone filling up a bag of popcorn.

Dinner and a Movie 

Physical touch 

Try to be near and touching each other all night. Sit on the same side of the booth at dinner, hold hands while walking to the car, and put up the arm rest in the theater to get closer. 

Quality time 

It may seem like you’re already doing this, so focus on the quality of time, not the quantity. Put phones away and make great conversation. Focus on being present. 

Receiving gifts  

Set the date up as a surprise! Be prepared to pay for everything (if you don’t usually already). Let your partner splurge a little at concessions if you can. 

Acts of service 

Pull out your partner’s chair at dinner, or better yet, pack a picnic with all of their favorite foods and serve them dinner. Offer to buy the concessions while they pick out their favorite seat in the theater.  

Words of affirmation 

Have a good conversation about the movie and point out the ways it reminded you of them. Talk about the ways you appreciate them and the specific moments you feel most in love. 

Two people with their legs crossed, wearing fuzzy socks, are in front of a roaring fire.

Cozy Night In 

Physical touch 

Cuddle on the couch or build a blanket fort! 

Quality time 

At-home date nights doesn’t mean turning on a movie and zoning out. Play a board game or try a new recipe for dinner! Take a spontaneous walk to a nearby park and get lost in the moment. 

Receiving gifts  

Buy your honey something they will love just because. Make it tie into your date. Things like new movies, or a comfy pajama set, are both fun options! 

Acts of service 

Clean your whole home in preparation for date night. Don’t ask … just do it. Have some plans suggested for the evening’s activities they can choose from. 

Words of affirmation 

Love word games? Include a few key words that describe your partner in a game of Scrabble™, Bananagrams™, or Spaceman. Every game reveals another word to build them up! 

Someone is texting on their phone while wearing a watch, grey sweatshirt, and jeans.

Long Distance 

Physical touch 

What do you do when you can’t actually touch each other? Find items that remind you of each other! Send your sweetie an item of clothing you often wore when you were together. Spray your signature cologne or perfume on it for an even more personal touch.

Quality time 

Make a time every week for a virtual date and keep to it. Get comfy and enjoy each other’s company for however long you have. You can also play virtual games together, like Words with Friends™. Find other games here

Receiving gifts  

Does your significant other have a wish list on Amazon™? Periodically pick something out and send it without them knowing. Add a gift message to let them know they are on your mind. 

Acts of service 

See if you can help with their to-do list today! Are there any phone calls that need to be made, which you could take over? Or could you start their virtual grocery order? 

Words of affirmation 

Send a sweet text with an uplifting message before any big meetings, or just because. Sprinkle compliments throughout your daily text messages.  

Love in all Seasons 

Everyone receives love differently, so taking the time to change how you give love can revitalize a dating habit that has become stale. Whether you’ve been married for 30 years or just dating a few months ago, taking cues from your partner’s love language can deepen your relationship. 

Learn more about dealing with complex relationships and managing conflicts, here.  

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